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June 21st, 2009
August 14th, 2008
11:57 pm - this is all I got, folks...
This commerical, which usually aired during Wonderama!, was one of the highlights of my childhood weekends, beyond singing in folk Mass. How much do I dig the shameless E.T. bandwagoneering [note the wily substitution of "celestial person" for "extra-terrestrial"], the cruddy special effects, and the tinny, neo-futuristic brogue of seasonal delicacy Cookie O' Puss? Fudgie the Whale can spout off all he wants (yuk yuk) but HE never inspired the Beastie Boys to sing his praises while sampling their own prank calls to Carvel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3urwTGqxwZ0
Where has YouTube been all my fuckin' life?
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June 26th, 2008
January 25th, 2008
01:56 pm
Still computerless at home.
Wah.
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January 5th, 2008
01:33 pm
Happy, happy birthday to the amazingbeautifulkindandtalented ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) beelzebabe!!!
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December 31st, 2007
11:56 am - Riding My Own Coattails: A Very "Special" Christmas
As promised, here is the yuletide-themed Muppet extravaganza I drew when I was 10, courtesy of mister_punchy who is now in possession of the original. I can't very well explain why I changed the Polar Bear Hunt sign from "7th Annual" to "16th Annual" on the second draft and made the grisly inclusion of slaughtered bear carcasses, or why the disembodied rifle is firing bullets at Fozzie (it got cut off, but the shotgun is floating in mid-air), or why exactly Henry Winkler is making a cameo, except that my razor-sharp fifth-grader wit was attempting droll wordplay with "Fozzie" and "Fonzie". There also seems to be a suspension in logic that Gonzo's main squeeze Camilla would somehow be safe from the Swedish Chef's clutches if she only provided written proof that she was a chicken and not a goose. But I love the earnest incongruity of Scooter gazing reverently up at the Star of Bethlehem, which I can only assume has four sides instead of five because Animal devoured part of it.
Also, I only just noticed that Statler is groping Fozzie's scrotal region in the first version. Comments are welcome.
SIDE ONE:
SIDE TWO:
Current Mood: highly amused
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November 6th, 2007
10:31 am - And I feel it's a long way down....
I leave for Barcelona in two days.
Holy shit.
Current Music: Rufus Wainwright, "Barcelona"
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October 6th, 2007
05:40 pm - i am the chronically masturbating walrus. goo goo goo joob.
This completely true story was on the FRONT PAGE of the print edition of a local free weekly--"Dad Still a Self-Lover" naturally caught my one-track eye [Note: the headline did not include the word "Walrus" unlike the online version, thus giving me even less context upon first glance], but I honestly couldn't tell if it was satire until I researched it extensively:
http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/30/39/30_39thewalrus.html
A special prize goes to the person who can come up with the best alternate headline!
By the way, you can cast your vote to name the tusky little tyke (who, evidently, is already following in his pop's self-pleasuring flippersteps at only three months!) via the Today show website. Except for the renegade reporter at The Brooklyn Paper, the media is collectively keeping the "Daddy likes to compulsively beat off" element of this white-hot news item tightly under wraps.
Current Mood: highly amused
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October 2nd, 2007
09:21 am - ANOTHER POINTLESS LIST!
My 5 most crushworthy cinematic characters (in no particular order):
--Nino Quincampoix in Amelie (need I explain?):
--Willy Wonka (looking really rather Puppetmasteresque in this photo; the similarities do not end there, come to think of it) in the ORIGINAL Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:
--Max Fischer in Rushmore (I am quite surprised that he's the only four-eyed dude to grace this list; Lennon wasn't sporting the iconic specs yet):
--Han Solo (as you can plainly see from my choices above, I don't normally like 'em this rugged or roguish, but let's face it, Han is irresistible. He also looks smashing in a vest):
--TIE: John Lennon as himself in A Hard Day's Night:
....and Tim Canterbury in the British Office (not technically a cinematic character, but he belongs on the list nonetheless):
That is, until they make a film version of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay and cast my favourite hot actor Adrien Brody as my most crushworthy literary character Joe Kavalier (even though he's really too old for the part). Holden Caulfield is seriously high on that list too, of course, but I can't think of any young actor who could ever properly bring him to life.
EDIT: Hey, as long as I'm including TV characters (and inappropriately young boys), HOW could I leave Brian Krakow from My So-Called Life off the list?
--Ahem. AND. I'm literally old enough to be his mum, but I also have a mildly oogey thing for Neville Longbottom in the Harry Potter series. He studies herbology, and the boy's got a beautiful overbite:
A few ladiez also worth mentioning:
--Patricia Franchini (yes, her character's a backstabbing femme fatale in a boatneck, but she's JUST.SO.FUCKING.BEAUTIFUL.) in Breathless:
--Anais Nin in Henry & June (OK, once again she is NOT an admirable character, which leads me to realize I'm objectifying the women--but frankly it's hard not to when they look like this:
--Any takers?
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October 1st, 2007
05:34 pm - Stop including me!
Ah, The Darjeeling Limited. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...
In the hands of virtually any other director, the literal "baggage" that accompanies the brothers Whitman throughout India would have been a totally hamfisted device, but Anderson pulled it off to perfection in his idiosyncratically wistful trademark style. This one is really going to get under my skin.
You can watch Wes Anderson's companion short film Hotel Chevalier, starring a fetchingly cropped Natalie Portman and a lovelorn, mustachioed Schwartzman at: http://hotelchevalier.com/
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September 24th, 2007
07:19 pm
Ohhhhhhh.....How torturous is it that I discover after the screenings are long since sold out that the New York Film Festival, which opens Friday, is premiering the new films of: Wes Anderson [fuck yeah--I didn't even know I entertained the white-hot fantasy of Jason Schwartzman, Adrien Brody and Bill Murray sharing a screen together until this very moment], Todd Haynes [with the resplendent Cate Blanchett playing Dylan in cantankerously oblique, drainpipe-trousered Don't Look Back mode, among numerous other actors in different Zimmerman incarnations including Richard Gere as his grizzled Wild West scoundrel--not to mention the goddamn pitch-perfect casting of David Cross as Allen Ginsberg!], the Coen brothers, AND Noah Baumbach [casting ever-luminous wife Jennifer Jason Leigh as the younger (!) sis of Botoxed-within-an-inch-of-her-life Nicole Kidman, and also featuring Jack Black]. And then Atonement and The Golden Compass will be out by the end of the year. Be still my geekish heart.
But the good news is that The Darjeeling Limited is supposedly having a limited engagement in New York as of Saturday. And I'm seein Beirut again in Central Park Wednesday night, so that's somewhat redeeming.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/moody_a.gif) envious
Current Music: Beirut, "Elephant Gun"
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September 23rd, 2007
10:22 am
At risk of being melodramatic or self-pitying--the line that's run relentlessly through my head all this week, from Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close:
"I'd lost count of the disappointments."
Current Mood: resigned
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September 7th, 2007
09:59 am
In approximately 12 hours, I will be en route to Milan with my folks. Can't even describe how much I'm looking forward to getting the fuck out of New York (and, hopefully, my negative headspace) for five days. Not to mention that the trip is virtually free.
Ciao...
Current Mood: Stressed! But excited!
Current Music: Beirut, "Postcards from Italy"
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September 4th, 2007
02:33 am - beauty in the grotesque
Beginning with a search for shadow boxes filled with odd ephemera, I sat for hours Saturday night riveted by all these websites dedicated to restoring the lost Victorian art of creative taxidermy, starting with:
http://acaseofcuriosities.com/
...and then, notably, on to some incredible contemporary artwork at:
http://zymoglyphic.org
http://gailpotocki.com
...and then finally finding myself enraptured by Sirina Brewer, the stunning crimson-haired taxidermist, and her equally lovely visions of grotesquerie at:
http://customcreaturetaxidermy.com
Yes, this is what it's come to. Two weeks shy of 36, and I spend my Saturday evenings coveting dilapidated dioramas of stuffed pigeons in bustles.
I might as well start collecting the cats now.
Current Mood: malaised
Current Music: Guided by Voices, "Yours to Keep"
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August 27th, 2007
10:46 am - all the people are dancing and they're having such fun...I wish it could happen to me
Some songs I've been feverishly practicing on the ukulele as I sit in my kitchen well past 2AM:
"After Hours", "Jockey Full of Bourbon", "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots", "Yotel Yorba", "Jolene", "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", "Apple Blossom", "Suzanne", "Blowin' in the Wind", "It Ain't Me Babe", "You Shook Me All Night Long", "Ring of Rire", and "No Surprises". Yes, ukulele tablature exists for all these tunes and many, many more. At today's lesson I'm going to learn "The Rainbow Connection".
The uke and Flight of the Conchords are pretty much the only redeeming features of this entire godforsaken month.
And I'll be 36 in three weeks.
Christ.
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August 15th, 2007
08:27 pm
While it's very important to live one's life conscientious of others' feelings, I can't help but wonder if people who claim that their greatest emotional pitfall is the fear of hurting someone else either:
a) can already forsee it happening, if only subconsciously; or
b) have completely forgotten and/or are operating in denial over what it's like to really be hurt themselves (unless they're among the very few with the superhuman reserves of self-protection OR sheer dumb luck to avoid ever getting really hurt).
Or: c) both.
Because as noble as it sounds to say it, actually getting hurt yourself is worse and we all know it. And it doesn't make one a bad person for admitting it; it's evolutionary. Hurting someone is a shitty but sometimes unavoidable side effect to getting what you want & need for yourself--and both the buildup & the fallout can be fucking awful to bear, but unless you happen to be a ruthless sadist, you can say "I never meant to hurt you" and say it truthfully. But you can't control the other person's feelings.
And conversely, yes, of course you have some measure of control over how much you will let something defeat you, but unless you happen to be a romantic masochist and you knowingly put yourself in harm's way, it wasn't your choice to begin with. It is a reaction to what you've been given...and you must merely make the best of it.
EDIT: I suppose the above reads as a somewhat polarized perspective. Sure, there are different degrees of taking the risk of hurting someone, or putting oneself in harm's way. And sometimes (like now), at least part of the emotional aftermath is the self-disgust in knowing that you could sense a bit of trouble on some tacit level, but you rationalized or ignored it in your optimism.
But then there's that whole mindfucking schism between thoughts & feelings again. And I can't help having feelings any more than someone else can for his lack thereof.
Current Mood: done
Current Music: Joanna Newsom, "Sadie"
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August 13th, 2007
01:44 pm
Despite my utter ineptitude on the guitar throughout five years of childhood lessons and being unable to read music, I purchased a ukulele on eBay today. I also found, to my astonishment, someone who offers ukulele lessons in NYC on Craigslist.
(sigh)
I'm trying, people.
Current Mood: mildly desperate
Current Music: Beirut, "After the Curtain"
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July 10th, 2007
12:07 am
Regarding the tabloid speculation around Nicole Richie's bun in the oven: The idea of any man getting a boner (pun intended) over this vacuous emaciated chick is mind-boggling enough, but can someone in the medical/scientific profession please explain to me how such a fucking death's head could possibly ovulate??? The alleged "baby bump" she's sporting looks eerily like the belly bloat of a famine victim.
Current Mood: sweaty
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June 25th, 2007
01:11 pm - Hey it's the Fanta Girls!
With fierceblue and beelzebabe as "The Glamorous Life Aquatic".
More photos on view at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sardonica/favorites/
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/happy_a.gif) happy
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June 18th, 2007
11:59 am - where lovely mermaids flow
Current Mood: inspired
Current Music: Elliott Smith, "First Timer"
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